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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27754888">Control</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ethanramsey/pseuds/ethanramsey'>ethanramsey</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Open Heart (Visual Novels)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, book 2 chapter 12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:13:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,117</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27754888</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ethanramsey/pseuds/ethanramsey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Additional Rafael scene after the events of Book 2, Chapter 12 in which Casey seeks comfort from Rafael after the funeral.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rafael Aveiro/Main Character (Open Heart)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Control</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>a great day to raf stans only &lt;3 this is my offering so we can all pretend ohsy doesn’t exist [already posted on Tumblr more than a month ago]</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Casey could swear she can hear her own heartbeat as she waited for someone to answer the door. Throughout the memorial, as well as in the past few days, she has done really well in putting up a brave face.</p><p>But after today… after Jackie, the strongest person she knew, broke down crying in front of her and fell asleep listening to her breathing… the gravity of losing two good people who were her friends finally hit her. And when she thinks about how she almost died too, how <em>he </em>almost died… she cannot help but to want to scream and cry and punch something all at the same time.</p><p>It is late at night, and she knows at the back of her mind that knocking at Juliana’s door at this time is too discourteous. But she must see him. She just needs a reminder too that he is alive and breathing, that although she lost him before, he is not gone like Danny and Bobby.</p><p>Before she can focus on feeling like something is gripping her heart again as she thinks about them, Juliana finally opens the door. Her doubts about coming tonight completely turn into regret as she sees her looking tired in her nightgown, but before she can apologize and attempt to just leave, the older woman gives her a kind, sad smile and immediately motions her to come inside.</p><p>“Don’t worry, you didn’t wake me. Raf couldn’t sleep either.” Juliana thankfully says before she can fumble with her words. She is relieved that she is awake, but to hear that Rafael also was… Casey swallows the lump in her throat, willing herself not to tear up. “The room on the right upstairs.”</p><p>Casey simply gives her a grateful smile before she goes without hugging her or speaking a word because she knows she only needs one comforting touch for the dam holding back her tears to give out and break. She quietly runs up the stairs, then softly knocks at the familiar door of Rafael’s childhood room. A second passes then she hears an invitation to come in.</p><p>With a deep breath she opens the door, steps inside the room, then closes it behind her. She gives Rafael time to take in that she was here. She watches her own hand at the doorknob for another second before she turns and finally meets his gaze.</p><p>Rafael is sat up on his bed in a white T-shirt and gray sweats. Apart from looking like he recently woke up from a coma, it was very obvious that he had been crying. Casey watches him set something down on the side table as she walks towards him, and as soon as she realized it was the photobooth picture of them along with Sienna and Danny from the carnival, there was no stopping the dam from breaking.</p><p>She reaches for the photo but fails to take it as she falls to her knees after a violent sob. Casey cries, a hand holding onto Rafael’s knee for support as she lets out all that she has been keeping deep inside.</p><p>He quickly joins her on the floor, pulling her close to him so she can cry on his chest. He stopped crying almost half an hour ago, already thinking that there were probably no tears left in him, but the agony in Casey’s sobs has tears streaming down his face yet again.</p><p>To think that she was feeling the same torment as him. The same guilt, the same mourning, the same feeling of absolute helplessness. He holds her tight, wishing he can shield her from all the pain. But sadly, and extremely ironically, the way for them to process their grief is to first drown in it.</p><p>And so that is what they do. Like being near death’s doorstep hand by hand, they do it together.</p><p>For the first time, Casey lets herself feel. She lets herself feel beyond terrified thinking about what happened to them. She wallows in her grief for Danny and Bobby. She accepts the anger she has for Travis, for Senator Farrugia, for this unfair, cruel world. She lets her love for Sienna overwhelm her. The same with her love for Rafael. She takes in the guilt that she is relieved that he did not die too. That <em>she </em>did not. She lets all of it overcome her because Rafael is here to pull her back up to the surface.</p><p>Rafael also lets himself sink to the deepest end of his sorrow. He lets himself realize that all he can do right now is accept things as they are. That while he might be heroic, he is not a superhero who can and will save everyone all the time. And as terrifying this fact is, sometimes all he can do is save himself.</p><p>It did not seem like either of them could stop crying, but after maybe an hour Rafael was relieved to realize that sobs no longer wracked Casey’s body. He moves one of his arms, starting to gently rub her back.</p><p>Casey moves after another minute, wiping her face and sniffing, sitting next to Rafael so he could also change his position.</p><p>He looked even more of a mess now, and judging his ruined shirt, she knows she only looked worse. “Raf…” Casey starts, but was unable to continue without her lips trembling once again.</p><p>Rafael gives her hand a squeeze, pressing a gentle kiss on her lips, then another that lingers a second longer. “I know, Casey.” He answers softly before getting the both of them up and making her sit on the bed. He gets her some tissues and a glass of water from his desk and later they both lay on their backs on his bed, both comfortable and comforted by silence and each other’s presence.</p><p>Rafael was now just thinking about how warm his fresh shirt was, but Casey’s thoughts are still far away from the room.</p><p>“They’re gone, Raf. They’re really gone.” Casey finally speaks a sentence. “When we go back to Edenbrook, Bobby and Danny won’t be there.”</p><p>She spoke with such finality that Rafael feels like his face has been splashed with ice cold water. He struggles to take in a full breath of air, but he finds her hands and again he gives it a squeeze, their fingers interlocking. “They’re gone,” he agrees.</p><p>Casey looks over at Rafael, and he meets her gaze almost immediately. “But we’re still here.”</p><p>“We are.” This time Rafael answers without missing a beat. “And we’re gonna make it count. If not for ourselves, for the people who love us.”</p><p>“And Danny and Bobby?”</p><p>“Especially them.” Rafael agrees again, turning on his side to face Casey, and she follows suit.</p><p>She looks up into his eyes, then steals a glance at his lips. He smiles a little and slowly leans in to meet her lips with his, and they share a gentle, comforting kiss.</p><p>They pull away after a while, Rafael pressing another kiss on top of Casey’s head, and he pulls her close to him again.</p><p>“Did Sora ever come to visit?” Casey asks almost immediately, and despite being emotionally spent, Rafael finds it in him to laugh softly.</p><p>“Really? Right after our great kiss?” He gives her a small grin, to which she only smiles sheepishly. “She visited right after I was discharged.”</p><p>“What did she say?” Casey wraps an arm around his torso, cuddling closer. Despite now feeling numb with all that has happened, her heart flutters at how much she missed being this close to him and how safe it feels in his arms.</p><p>“She apologized for breaking up with me when she did.” Rafael lightly massages Casey’s shoulder with one hand.</p><p>“Did she want to take you back?” Casey was worried to ask despite being laid next to him in his bed right now.</p><p>“No. I think we both finally realized we both rushed into something we didn’t really want.” He sighs. “If I could just go back…” He starts, but then trails off. If the past few days and their recent crying session taught him something, it is that this kind of thinking is not going to help him or anyone.</p><p>“Listen, Casey, I know I can’t go back and change anything that already happened. But I just want you to know that I’m gonna do all that I can to make it up to you.”</p><p>Casey blinks slowly, biting on her lip. She was already in so much pain; she did not need to revisit how it felt like when Rafael left her. Granted, it already felt like forever ago, with all that has happened. But still… she has to know why he left.</p><p>“Why did you do it, Raf?” She asks, voice small. “I… I know we weren’t officially together, but we were dating. It was special-- at least I thought it was. Why did you leave me?”</p><p>Rafael takes a deep breath. “You’re gonna hate me.” He does not even need to look to know that Casey already had a frown, but he continues. “I didn’t really have a real reason. It’s like… something made me get back together with Sora. As soon as she got back to Boston she came here to visit Juliana when I was also over. When I opened the door and saw her, my childhood sweetheart, visiting my vovo at the same time I did, it felt like… fate, if you will. I just-- I had this voice in my mind telling me I should pursue her again.”</p><p>Casey still furrowed her eyebrows. Rafael, like always, is too honest, but after months of second-guessing herself, she finally knew the truth. She is conflicted if it was comforting or infuriating that it was not even about her.</p><p>“You didn’t… it wasn’t- about me? Or about us?” Her shaky voice told the both of them what she really felt.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Casey.” Rafael clenched his jaw. “If I could take it back, if I could somehow go back and make myself realize how much I loved you <em>before</em> I ended things between us…” he sighed deeply. “Up to this day I still regret that I only realized how very important you were to me when I already lost you. God, after <em>I</em> left you.”</p><p>She swallows, letting herself take a moment to process that. There was too much to unpack: suddenly she knows Rafael loved her and thought she was very important to him.</p><p>“What is this now, Raf? What are we doing here?” After a long moment, Casey asks.</p><p>“If you just need someone to lean on, Casey, I’m the perfect person. Not only because I’ve been through what you’ve been through… it’s the least I can do and want to do for you.” He starts. “If you just want that… that’s okay, and I’m here for you. But if you’ll still have me, Case, despite what I did and my reason for it… I want to give us another chance. We both lost so much, and I think it’s only right if we start building our lives again together.”</p><p>Casey plays with her bottom lip, again taking a minute to let that sink in. Exhaustion is finally taking over her, and judging Raf’s sleepy voice despite his declaration of feelings, he is obviously tired as well. Casey pulled away a little so she can look up at Rafael, only able to ask, “You don’t have another childhood sweetheart I have to worry about? Because I swear I won’t be so nice the next time you leave me for <em>no reason</em>.”</p><p>He chuckles. “I won’t be living that down any time soon, am I?”</p><p>“You won’t be living it down, ever.” Casey grins.</p><p>“Well… as long as you take me back, I really won’t be in the position to complain.” Rafael holds Casey’s face with one hand, rubbing her cheek gently and smiling, eyes fluttering sleepily.</p><p>How absolutely adorable and lovable he looked made her kiss him again. It was way too gentle than their usual kisses, but right now it was perfect. Innocent, honest, genuine. “Get some sleep, my boyfriend who absolutely <em>cannot</em> break up with me for an ex-girlfriend from high school.” She presses another soft kiss on his lips once more.</p><p>“You won’t leave before I wake up?” Raf asks, pulling Casey’s body close to him again.</p><p>“I won’t if you promise not to break up with me for an ex partner from college or from work either.”</p><p>Again he laughs softly, eyes fluttering close. “I promise, Casey. I’ll love you and make you feel loved each day. I promise.” He whispers goodnight.</p>
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